Prisoner
by Pongo0614
Summary: Merlin was given over to the Samrum after his magic was revealed when he was there. How is he going to survive?
1. Free

_Hello Merlin fans._

 _Yep its me again with another story. Even though I have a few Doctor Who stories coming out, I still do have ideas for Merlin fics. Mainly because I tried to turn the Doctor Who fics into Merlin fics. And this is one of them._

 _For anyone who is reading War Crimes, this is kinda the Merlin version of that story. I hope you like it._

 _Please note, I don't own any of the lyrics used._

* * *

 **Free**

 **Yeah, whoa, c'est la vie  
** **Maybe something's wrong with me  
** **But, hey, at least I am free, oh, oh, I am free  
** _Free by Rudimental ft. Emeli Sande_

She knew that he was strong. The things that he had survived showed that. Maybe she understood more now why he did survive them. She had already screamed to the Triple Goddess to why she didn't know but he wasn't going to find out that. He was her main priority at the moment.

Because he wasn't as strong as she thought he was. But then she didn't know what he had been through. It saddened her. She would have preferred him by Arthur's side, thwarting her plans rather than him sitting on the edge of her bed, in her hovel, with his head in his hands.

Morgana drew up all her strength and walked over to sit next to him. She wanted to rub his back to comfort him but knew it would only cause him pain. There was very little she could do to comfort him.

Merlin turned to look at her "I wanted to tell you." His eyes were filled with tears.

"It's alright. It's in the past."

"I made you feel like you were alone. I made you feel like no one cared for you. I turned you into what you became."

"Uther had more of an influence. Look you been through a lot ..."

"Still doesn't make up what I did to you."

She raised her arm up around his neck and pulled him to her. He allowed himself to be pulled into her embrace and wrapped his arms around her waist, resting his head underneath her chin. They had their problems but it was something to sort out later. They had all the time in the world. It wasn't like he would be going back to Camelot any time soon.

She pulled back and gave him a smile. "You must be tired and hungry."

She knew he was strong but it broke her heart to see him just nod at her suggestion. This wasn't the Merlin she knew. He had no fight, no purpose. His blue eyes use to light up but now they seemed like she was looking into a deep lake, never seeing the bottom of it.

She didn't know what had happened to him but whatever it was, he didn't deserve it. He may have poisoned her and stopped every plan she ever had, but he didn't deserve the treatment he got.

* * *

She watched him as he slept. He had argued that he shouldn't take up the only bed in her hovel but she had used the 'you are injured and have been through a lot' card. He seemed to let her win, whether it was because he realised she was right or he just didn't want to argue with her any more, she didn't know. She was just glad that he had taken the bed in the end.

Morgana cursed herself but she couldn't help but feel sorry for him. She knew that it was the last thing he would expect from her but it was how she felt.

His magic had shocked her. She had replayed all the moments they shared together to try and work out when he could have told her and realistically, there wasn't really a good time. Maybe when Mordred turned up but that would be the only time.

She had thought about when she found her magic. She thought that he could have told her then. But then she realised it would have been too dangerous. She was scared and who knew what she would have done if he had told her. She may have blamed him instead of finding out about her own magic.

Morgana turned away from him and sat down by the fire. She had heard about the man he had been with. The Sarrum was a man known for his ruthlessness against magic. The evidence of it was lying in her bed right now. The man was widely known in the magical community and he was on Morgana's list of people that needed to be removed from power. He was low down on her list but he was surely going to climb up it now.

* * *

Morgana allowed herself to smile as the little white dragon pranced around Merlin, making him smile. It gave her hope that everything could get better from now. She walked over and sat down on the log he was leaning against.

"There has been one thing that I have been wondering."

"What?"

"How did you land in the Sarrum's clutches? What went wrong?" She asked. She turned to him.

"I knew that there was always a chance that my magic would be found out. I had always hoped that I would be able to tell them. It isn't something I could help."

"I know."

"No. I was born with magic for a purpose." He spat. He sighed. "Sorry. Maybe you would understand."

"Maybe I would but then again maybe I wouldn't."

"I am sure you have felt light a monster. I am sure you haven't understood yourself. I am sure you have asked yourself, why me. I am sure you have felt like an outsider when you are surrounded by friends."

Morgana turned her gaze to the forest floor. She had felt all those things but that was before she had been taken off by her sister and she understood her magic.

"I knew that there was always a chance that Arthur wouldn't accept my magic. I had always hoped that he would see through it and just see me … well as his best friend. The way he would always talk about you and your magic made me thing that. The way he always wanted to help you to see that … you didn't have to go against him.

"He did once accept magic." Tears spilled from Merlin's eyes. "It was great to see and to hear. I thought he could be the man that destiny talked about. The man to unite Albion. I stopped that to stop him from killing Uther. It didn't hurt that he found out the way he did. It hurt that he never asked me or let me explain properly."


	2. Bad Day

_Thank you for all the follows and favourites. And thank you for the guest reviewer. I hope I carry on the story to how to expect it._

* * *

 **Bad Day**

 **Cause you had a bad day  
** **You're taking one down**  
 **You sing a sad song just to turn it around**  
 _Bad Day by Daniel Powter_

Merlin knew that everyone had bad days. He had them all the time. But they were usually because Arthur was having a bad day and pushing his mood on him.

The morning had just gone from bad to worse. Arthur was blaming Merlin for the reason he was late this morning because Arthur didn't get up the first time he woke him. Now it was his fault because they had so much to do before the Sarrum turned up.

"MERLIN!" Arthur shouted down the corridor.

Merlin sighed and muttered prat under his breath before turning and walking down the corridor towards Arthur. "Yes?"

"Where the hell have you been half the day? There is some much to do and you are here loitering about. I don't have a clean tunic and the Sarrum is suppose to be here soon. How am I meant to met him looking like this?"

Merlin opened his mouth to tell him that he hadn't been loitering around when Gwen joined the conversation.

"The Sarrum has been spotted. We should really be there to great him."

Arthur huffed. "Sort it Merlin." He stormed off but Merlin knew that he was grumbling about him.

Gwen have him a smile. "You know he doesn't mean it. He has always been like it. I don't know how you have put up with it for so long."

"I know." Merlin knew the reason he put up with it for so long. The destiny that the both shared was the only thing that kept him in Camelot. He could see that the world his destiny talked about was so close to becoming a reality but also so far away.

"He is under a lot of pressure at the moment."

"I know." He repeated.

* * *

Merlin had spent the rest of the day washing as many of Arthur's clothes as possible. He knew that he would be shouted at for disappearing but it meant that he was out of the way for now. Any anger that Arthur was expressing wasn't aimed at him.

It was hard and sometimes he couldn't see the man that Arthur was meant to become, even after all these years of being at his side. Sometimes the arrogant brat would return and Merlin hated it when he was in that mood.

He had left the rest of the clothes in the kitchen to dry and used his magic just to make one of them dry enough to wear. By the time he had got it to the other side of the castle, it would have dried properly. Merlin smiled at his handwork before jogging up the stairs into the main part of the castle.

He swerved around the servants as they tried to get everything prepared for the feast that night. Merlin actually hated other people visiting. It just made him more self-conscious about himself and his magic. Over the years, he had been using his magic more openly. No one ever seemed to notice, other than Lancelot.

He sighed. _Poor Lancelot_. He thought.

He had let his eye off the ball for only a few moments but it meant that he collided with one of the servants who was carrying a jug of wine. He groaned at the déjà vu he was experiencing. He bundled the tunic up and carried on walking until he reached an empty corridor.

He had to sort this he couldn't allow Arthur to have something else to shout at him for. He checked the corridor one last time before muttering the spell underneath his breath. He smiled as the wine disappeared and sighed with relief.

A hand came down heavily on his shoulder and he felt the shoulder of his jacket be scrunched up in his grip.

* * *

Merlin cursed himself as the Sarrum and his guards dragged him down the familiar corridors towards Arthur's chambers.

He wondered how he was going to get himself out of this one. Hopefully Arthur would just laugh it off like all the other times. Tell the Sarrum that there is no chance that he would have magic.

He didn't struggle as they entered the chambers and tried to comfortably stand in between the two guards.

"What's going on? I see you have found my manservant." Arthur joked.

"I am sorry Milord but your manservant has been seen using magic."

Arthur's lips rose up into a smile. "Merlin. Magic. This is madness. I have known Merlin for a very long time and I can assure you, if he had magic, he wouldn't have been able to keep it from me. He is one of the most clumsy people I know. He would have accidentally exposed himself many years ago if that was the case. I would know if he had magic."

"Really?" The Sarrum said. "Let's put that to the test."

He took a pouch off his belt and slipped the contents out into his palm. Merlin saw the stone that he held and he was sure he had seen something similar once before. It gave off a soft amber glow.

The Sarrum chuckled. "This only glows when it reacts with magic. Someone in this room has very strong magic indeed. I have never seen it glow in my palm before."

He turned to Merlin and nodding to the guards to let him go. He walked up to him and forced his palm up, the stone getting brighter the closer he got to him. Merlin was forced to hold the stone, his magic happily mixing with the magic in the stone.

"No magic can hide from this. A high priestess made it for me before I killed her. Something so I would always know where magic was. I have never seen it so bright before. He has been deceiving you Arthur. He has hid in plain sight. You have let him in and trusted him. I think it is time for him to stop. I know that you must be close to him. I can take care of him if you want."

Merlin stared at Arthur. He still had his grip on the stone.

He wouldn't believe the Sarrum. Would he?

He wouldn't let the Sarrum take him. Would he?


	3. Say Something

_Thank you for all the reviews. This story is proving to be quite popular._

* * *

 **Say Something**

 **Anywhere I would've followed you  
** **Say something, I'm giving up on you  
** **And I am feeling so small**  
 _Say Something by A Great Big World and Christina Aguilera_

The room was silent. The only thing Merlin could hear was his own breaths. It was painful to watch Arthur's face. He could easily read the young king but at that moment, he had no idea what he was thinking.

"The truth is out. You might as well confess all." The Sarrum said, taking the stone out of Merlin's hand.

Merlin's throat felt dry and he knew that he should but he just couldn't find the words that could help him get out of the situation he was in.

"I wanted you to know." He croaked out.

Arthur turned from him and placed his hands against the table by the window. Merlin kept his eyes on him, still trying to work out what he was thinking.

"My father?"

Merlin turned to Gwen. "I couldn't watch you watch him die. I was there when you tried to plea Gaius to help you."

"And I was seen as the witch who brought the plague to the city. I could have died."

"I know. I didn't ..."

"You didn't what Merlin?" Arthur shouted. He turned around with a face that Merlin had seen many times. "You can have him. I don't want to see him any more."

Merlin felt the guards grab him again.

"I would like a quick word with him though."

The Sarrum smirked at Merlin before he left them.

Silence filled the room once more and Merlin was struggling to see his friend and king.

Arthur laughed. "How could you be so stupid?" He paused for a moment. "How could I be so stupid?" He turned from Merlin again. "How long have you been practising? Hmm, how long?!" He shouted.

Merlin could see that Gwen wanted Arthur to stop shouting but she knew that he had to. They both felt betrayed by him.

"All my life. Arthur, I was born with it. I couldn't ..."

"Here we go. The same old lies. I couldn't help it. You can help it. You cannot practice it. Your mother taught you. Was it you who taught Morgana? Was it you that turned her against us?"

"Arthur, I can help it. I was born like this for ..."

Arthur looked up at him. "Actually I don't want to hear it. I don't want to hear any more of your lies."

"Arthur, I am still the same person. I am the same bumbling idiot I have always been. This changes nothing."

"No _Merlin,_ it changes everything." He turned around, looking for something to hit or destroy when he came to the realisation. He pointed his finger at Merlin. "You are the sorcerer that killed my father! Is that why you are here? To become the sorcerer to kill the man that started the purge of your kind. I am starting to think he was correct for doing so."

Merlin let out a shaky breath. That hit him hard. He had put his life on the line to save Uther. "I … I didn't expect that to happen. Morgana … She must have given Agraivane something so it didn't work. I wanted to help you."

"You exactly like the rest."

He took a step back at his words. He remembered everything that he had done for Arthur. All the times he had to use magic to keep him safe. The times where he had almost died because he had to keep Arthur safe. The times where he had to go against magic and his destiny to keep Arthur safe.

"I am not." He whispered.

"Sorry?"

"No Arthur, I am not like the rest. There have been many times where I could have taken a step back, where I could have easily allowed someone to kill your father. It is the same for you. If I wanted you dead, it would have happened a long time ago. Your father … I couldn't let him die because you weren't ready to be king. Please believe me when I say that Arthur. Everything I do and have done is for you."

"Why would I believe you?"

Merlin tried to stop the tears. He tried his hardest. "Because you are my friend, as I am yours."

"Not any more."

* * *

He really didn't know what was worse. The look on Arthur's face as he left the room or the whispers of the servants as he was led through the corridors between the Sarrum's men.

When he returned to the room, the Sarrum had brought some chains that he had explained would keep Merlin from using his magic. Arthur had actually smiled when he gasped when they were in place. For someone who hated magic so much, The Sarrum liked using things that was made by the old religion.

Merlin allowed the tears to fall when the guards left him. He wondered if Gaius would come down and find him or whether Arthur would forbid it. He wondered if Gaius would be questioned and punished over him. He wondered what would become of his destiny.

Not once he did he wonder what was going to happen to him. The Sarrum had done his worse as far as he was concerned. Arthur's reaction was the exact opposite of what Merlin had expected when his magic came to light.

It was the worst outcome. Merlin had hoped that Arthur would be able to see him for the person he was. It surprised him how bitter Arthur was against magic and Merlin doubted that he had helped that.

But it was true. If Merlin wanted Arthur and Uther dead, they would have been buried and forgotten years ago. He didn't have to help anyone, he just had to let it happen.

The last few years felt like a waste. They were meant to make Albion together but now that look further than ever. Arthur's reaction showed that magic was never going to return under him or while his family was still in power.

Maybe Merlin should have allowed Morgana and Morgause to have the throne. Maybe they had the better change of making magic legal.

Morgana … oh how he had failed her?

Arthur was right. He had turned her against them. He was the one to tip the poison into the water skin and hand it to her. Her downfall was all his fault and he knew it.

He cried all night because it was the end of everything he knew.


	4. Wherever You Will Go

_Just to let you guys know, I am getting your reviews through email even though they are not coming up._

 _I am so glad that you are all enjoy this and especially the last chapter._

 _Here is another chapter. Enjoy :)_

* * *

 **Wherever you will go**

 **The way to make it back someday  
** **To watch you, to guide you  
** **Through the darkest of your days**  
 _Wherever You Will Go by The Calling_

He fought with himself but in the end he knew that he had to look at it. He had no idea when he was going to see the marble walls or if he was going to see them again. Merlin looked over his shoulder to his home for the last few years.

He could remember what it was like seeing Camelot for the first time. How much he had changed in those years.

The chains rubbed against his wrists as the guard pulled him along to get him moving again. He grunted as he started walking again. He hadn't even realised that he had stopped.

He carried on walking. He had his destiny to complete. He would return to Camelot. By that time Arthur would have had time to think over what had happened and he knew that he would have to earn his trust again but they would do it. They would build Albion together like the dragon had told him. They would bring back magic. Arthur would see magic for what its worth.

He had a reason to return to Camelot and he knew that if the triple goddess believed in him then she would give him the strength to return. The seers and the druids couldn't be wrong. He had his destiny. He would survive this.

* * *

Arthur was stood on the battlements, looking out on to his kingdom. The last few days he felt like a blur and he was still trying to work a few things out.

"Why have I seen Merlin in chains going off with the Sarrum?"

"It's none of your business."

"I think it is when one of our friends has been taken by that tyrant."

"He isn't our friend." Arthur tried to stop himself from spitting out the word friend but he couldn't help it. He would have called Merlin a friend.

"He is."

"He a sorcerer Gwaine. He has been deceiving us."

"So." Gwaine replied.

Arthur turned to him. "Sorry?"

"That is no reason. There has always been something about Merlin and now you say it makes total sense. If he wanted you dead, he was in the perfect position to make it happen. Couldn't he have been using his magic for good?"

"It is not up for discussion. What needed to be done has been done."

Arthur turned from Gwaine and walked back into the castle.

"You know, if it was the other way round, Merlin wouldn't have given up on you so easily."

"He lied to me Gwaine."

"Is this what is all about? What did you expect him to do? Did you expect him to say 'Hey I am Merlin and I am a sorcerer' when he first met you? Come on Arthur, you aren't that stupid, are you?"

Arthur turned around and Gwaine almost bumped into him.

"Drop it. This is the last I want to hear of this conversation."

He started walking again and was grateful that Gwaine had remained quiet.

"When did you become like your father? I thought you were different."

Arthur stopped and cursed Gwaine's inhibition to keep his mouth shut.

"He was a sorcerer and he was caught out."

"That still no excuse to leave a friend alone."

"Drop it Gwaine. This is the last time I am going to tell you. I am the King and I make the decisions."

Gwaine unclipped his cloak and balled it up. He walked up to Arthur and pushed it into his arms. "Maybe I don't want to be a knight to such a selfish king. Thinking about it, Merlin brought me back to Camelot after I left the first time, not you. You made me a knight but I didn't want to be one. Thank you Arthur. Thank you for making me understand that all nobles _are_ the same underneath. I had hoped you were different but this shows that you aren't."

He looked Arthur up and down before walking towards his chambers to collect his belongings.

* * *

He groaned as he hit the floor after tripping over a tree root. One of the guards shouted at him to get up but he just couldn't find the strength to. He was yanked off the floor by the same guard and pushed forward to started walking again.

It had been a few days since Merlin left Camelot with the Sarrum and it had been the worst few days of his life. Not that he expected it to get any better for now on.

He had never felt as tired and weak as he did now. None of the attempts on his life hurt as much as this. If he could, he would ask the Sarrum if he could end it all now. He wasn't offered food and that lead to restless nights trying to fight against the hunger.

But there was also his destiny that filled his thoughts day and night. It was the only thing giving the strength to move at the moment.

They couldn't be wrong. The druids had spoken about him for years. Merlin wanted to shout. They couldn't be wrong, could they?

He had this great big destiny that at times felt like it was crushing him under the weight of it. The dragon couldn't be wrong, could he?

He muttered the words that had been spoken to him over the years under his breath. One mistake couldn't cause destiny to be wrong, could it?

Arthur would accept him one day. He would return and gain his trust once more. The land that he dreamed about would be made. Albion had to be born. Magic had to return. Their destiny had to be completed, didn't it?

He was sure he was crying again. It had become a daily thing at the moment when he thought about his destiny. All those people couldn't be wrong, could they?

They had to be right. Albion isn't a dream. Arthur and him would make it a reality. They would in the end, wouldn't they?

It was a dark path that Merlin was taking and that was before the Sarrum had even started. Arthur's decision had hurt Merlin deep and all these questions was making his mental state bad. He had to get through it for what the Sarrum had planned for him. Albion had to be made but that future looked uncertain.


	5. Silhouettes

_Thanks for all the great reviews. I am glad that you all liked that fact that I made Gwaine totally okay with Merlin's magic. It was one of the things that should have happened in the show. Even though Gwaine seemed like a bit of a blabber mouth, I would have thought that if Merlin had told him, he would have kept it a secret._

 _Merlin has now been in the Sarrum's hands for a few weeks now._

* * *

 **Silhouettes**

 **But when it's over, I'm still awake  
** **A thousand silhouettes dancing on my chest**  
 **No matter where I sleep, you are haunting me**  
 _Silhouettes by Of Monsters and Men_

The darkness had become his friend. It had to. He was surrounded by it. He had no idea why, but the Sarrum had decided that it was best that he was chained to the bottom of a well.

He had no idea of how long he had been down there but he had gone past being hungry and tired. Even though he was in the perfect conditions to sleep, he continually woke up out of nightmares. Most of them involved the look on Arthur's face when he allowed the Sarrum to take him. But they all ended with Arthur giving the command for his death. Maybe someone else killing him would be better for him.

The covering of the well blocked the sunlight out well because it blinded Merlin when it was removed. He closed his eyes against it but even then it still stung. He tried to take in his surroundings but he was still squinting as the guard unchained him from the wall and grabbed hold of him to get him out the well.

Merlin thought that the whole idea was stupid. It took so much more effort for them to get him out. He was severely disorientated and didn't really understand what was happening to him until his tunic was taken off him and his hand chained to a wooden post.

The whip hit his back and it took everything just to gasp at it. He bit back any scream that tried to force its way out, hissing to make just some noise. They carried on until it seemed that they got bored. It is probably no fun if the person wasn't screaming as they wanted them too.

He could feel the blood running down his back and he rested his head against the post. It hurt so much that he wanted to scream but he couldn't give them the pleasure of hearing it. He couldn't give them what they wanted just yet, they had only just started.

Merlin could feel his eyes start to water as the guard behind him pushed his hand against the open wounds.

"You don't need to be big and strong. You don't have to be brave. Scream. It will make it feel better."

He bit his tongue to stop the scream from escaping. He could be strong and brave. This was only the beginning. If he gave up now, he would never get back to Camelot. He would never complete his destiny.

He couldn't help but sigh with relief as the guard walked away. He wanted to hope that it would the end of it but screamed out when the assault started again.

"Just like that." The guard shouted over it.

Merlin bit his lip to stop another one escaping. He had his one shout. He was getting any more. As the pain increase, the hard Merlin bit his lip. The skin broke and his mouth filled with blood as it dripped down his back.

The assault stopped again and he heard the guard walk away, leaving him tied to the post. He knew that there was always a chance that he could come back or one of his mates could start on him. He just prepared himself for whatever could come next.

* * *

He did think that it was strange when he wasn't immediately put back into the well. He was allowed to put his tunic back on before he was put with the other prisoners that the Sarrum had. Merlin scanned them and saw a few with druids marks. There was no doubt that they were all sorcerers.

"How about we have some fun? How about one of them entertains us?"

Merlin watched as all the prisoners looked at the floor. It was obviously something that if no one spoke up, someone was chosen. These were his people that he was failing because they were here. These were his people that were the poor victims in the purge. He stood up.

The Sarrum laughed. "Look the new boy wants a go. Come on then. Let's see what you can do."

The guard dragged him out of the crowd and into the middle of the courtyard. Merlin quickly walked over to one of the tables and took three apples off of it. It was the only thing he could think about doing with no magic and very little time to prepare.

He juggled, doing tricks that one of the old men in Ealdor had taught him. Both him and Will had a go at it but Merlin was the only one to pick it up. He had used magic to begin with to look like he could do it but then slowly realised that he didn't need his magic and was not as clumsy as he thought. He spun around and caught the apple before bowing to the Sarrum.

He grunted when he was struck along his back, the wounds from earlier still fresh.

"I didn't mean with magic."

Merlin wanted to laugh. He had a cuff on that made sure he couldn't use his magic. "I didn't." He said through his teeth.

He was stuck again and he was sure he heard something crack. Maybe a rib. He remembered that Gaius said that a broken rib could only be left alone to heal. Not that he had the supplies to heal himself if he could.

He went back with his hair when it was pulled and the Sarrum held Merlin's face in a tight grip.

"Look at the poor lad." He shouted. "He is sick and he needs to purged from you. That is all magic is. A sickness that corrupts you."

"Magic is not a sickness. You cannot purge something from yourself if you are born with it."

The Sarrum looked at him and Merlin had no idea if he was working out whether he was stupid or brave for still talking. The older man chuckled before pushing Merlin back towards the guard.

"Have your fun boys but not too much. I still have a lot I want to do to him."

Merlin could only allow himself to be dragged off.


	6. How to Save a Life

_Thanks for all the reviews_

* * *

 **How to Save a Life**

 **Had I known how to save a life  
** **Where did I go wrong? I lost a friend  
** **Somewhere along in the bitterness  
** _How to Save a Life by The Fray_

The darkness surround him once more as they covered the well. He was back in his prison and this time was worst than the last time. He leant forward to try and stop the blood from drying and him becoming stuck to the wall. The Sarrum had decided that he wasn't allowed the luxury of his tunic.

Merlin grunted against the pain as his shoulders were pulled in an odd way. Every part of his body felt like it was on fire. Everything seemed to hurt and screamed at him every time he moved.

Gaius had always told him to be cautious when it came to his magic. This is what he had meant over the years. He knew that he had become safe about using it more and more. He should have seen it coming. He should have just gone back into the kitchens and got another one.

It haunted him and he had imagined what he would be doing if he hadn't used his magic. He was sure he would be by Arthur's side. But what had happened while he was away? Had Morgana tried to take the throne again?

She was his biggest mistake and even bigger regret. He had wondered many times what would have happened if he had told her about his magic. Would she have been on their side? Would she have ran to Morgause so easily?

He wasn't sure he could answer either of those questions but he knew that there was a chance that if he did, she wouldn't be the person she was now. He would always blame himself for her betrayal and he would never be able to forgive himself for betraying her first. It was that which turned her.

He had hoped that he would be able to forgive himself one day but as the years dragged on, he knew that it wasn't going to happen.

'No, you're wrong. This has just begun!' floated around his mind.

He didn't know why but it just hit him. The thing was, Morgana didn't realise that it had begun a long time ago with Nimueh. He was scared that Morgana would have the same fate.

They could have worked through this together. Maybe if he had been brave enough, they would have.

* * *

Merlin pulled on his chains. He didn't know how much more he could take of the silence and darkness. It was deafening. He was sure that he was slowly losing his mind. It was like the darkness was talking to him, telling him things that he feared or should do. He could block it out but it seemed to be getting louder.

He was still in pain but his body was thankful that he had been forgotten about, well it seemed that way anyway. His body could repair the best it could. Everything would be okay if he always had long periods between torture sessions.

He had no idea when he did, but he managed to fall asleep. It wasn't something he could do easily. Anyone would have thought that it would be easy surrounded by the dark but it just put Merlin more on edge. But there was another reason that he wanted to stay awake.

His dream started off as it always seemed to. He was in Camelot, walking behind Arthur and Gwen. They were heading towards the balcony because Arthur had something to announce. Merlin would look over the balcony and see all the people talking. They would become silent and Arthur would started his speech.

Merlin would mouth the words as he was sure he wrote the speech. It would start off positive with him saying that there were new positions in the Royal household and that he had realised something that he had thought differently about for so many years.

He knew that it was about magic and Merlin couldn't help but smile as he could see the land that he had been told about. He could just feel that magic was going to be made legal and he was going to become Court Warlock or Sorcerer. He was ready to take that step forward and accept his position.

But as always, Arthur's tone would change and the rest of the speech would turn negative.

"Magic is evil." He shouted to the crowd. "My father started the purge and I am going to be the one to end it. By that I mean, I am going to end it by making sure that magic can never return. No one with magic will be safe. We will hunt them down like the animals they are. And we will start with a few friends."

At that point Merlin was grabbed and taken down to the courtyard. He tried to struggle against the grip and even more so as he saw the executioner sharpening his blade.

It got even worse when he saw that Morgana was already on the platform. She started to shout at him for leaving her all alone. She shouted at him for following a man that has betrayed him. She shouted at him that he knew what it felt like when she realised what he had done to that water skin.

He was crying by the time the guard forced him onto his knees and his head placed on the block. He could see out of the corner of his eye, the executioner getting up off his chair and walking towards him. He watched as he raised his axe and brought it down.

Merlin woke up with a scream. It echoed around the well, making it seem even more painful. His breathing was harsh and he could feel the tears falling down his cheeks.

Part of him wondered if that would have happened if the Sarrum hadn't caught him out. Would Arthur have sentenced him to death? It hurt him to think that way but then he knew what he had to deal with growing up. Uther had taught him that magic was evil from the cot.

It didn't matter though. The Sarrum had caught him and he was stuck in this well. There was nothing he could do to change that.


	7. Take Me To Church

_I am actually quite glad to how you are all reacting to this. Thank you for all the reviews._

 _Reply to Addison review. To be honest when I saw your review and it said about the big rant about characters, I panicked and thought that it would be bad. I am glad that it wasn't and I do agree with you on some points, you even got me thinking about Uther and Nimueh. I think that Uther's original hatred for Nimueh came out of grief but in the end, he could see that she did give him what he asked for. I could just imagine Ygriane watching Vivienne during her pregnancy and a young Uther wanting do to anything to be able to give her a child of her own. Whether Merlin goes back to Camelot and Arthur is for me to know and for you to find out ;)._

* * *

 **Take Me To Church**

 **My lover's the sunlight  
** **To keep the Goddess on my side  
** **She demands a** sacrifice  
 _Take Me To Church by H_ _ozier_

The Sarrum clapped his hands together before rubbing them. Merlin didn't like the look in his eyes. He knew something bad was going to happen.

He still had no idea how long he had been in his grasp but every time he came topside, he was sure that he was getting to know the Sarrum a little better. At the moment he was bored. With a Warlord like him, boredom could only lead to death, more than likely their deaths.

He looked up at the darkening sky.

"Isn't it the time of year for a sacrifice? I am sure that the crops must go in soon. We want a good harvest this year, don't we?"

Everyone cheered loudly.

So it was decided, there was going to be a human sacrifice and the people more likely to be sacrificed were made to build the pyre that was going to kill them. Merlin could have called it irony but it wasn't. This was murder at its finest, hidden under another agenda.

There was a painful wait between finishing building the pyre and the 'sacrifice' being chosen. Merlin was shocked to see children among the adults and felt extremely sorry for the little girl that had fallen asleep on his shoulder. She was more than likely going to die before she had even started to live. It saddened him greatly.

The first 'sacrifice' happened to be a small boy. Merlin watched as the boy, no older than six, was pulled towards it. He knew that he was going to wake the girl but he had to do something. He jumped up and sprinted as fast as he could, being grateful for the fact that they weren't all chained together. He used all his body weight to pull the guard over.

Now, Merlin had gained some muscle over the years of being Arthur's manservant. He was no longer the gangly boy that left Ealdor. But he didn't have the same strength that a knight or a guard might have. The guard easily rolled them over and started to repeatedly punch Merlin in the face. By the time the guard had been dragged off him on the Sarrum's command, blood was pouring out of his nose and one of his eyes was swelling up.

"Look at you. Look what bravery does to you." He heard the Sarrum shout.

Merlin remained lying on the floor. His body was screaming at him for his attempt to save the child. He didn't know what he was going to do to stop them. He was picked up off the floor and dragged to the Sarrum.

"Do you have an objection to what your goddess says that you should do?"

He spat before he spoke. His mouth had filled with blood. "This isn't a sacrifice. This is murder."

The Sarrum stared at before leaning back in his chair. "Maybe you should see this. It is a great show. You should have one of the best seats in the house."

The guard pulled him roughly and placed him on his knees next to the Sarrum. They pulled the boy back up again. Merlin could hear his parents screaming for him and him screaming for them. He bent forward to try anything to block out them and the pain.

His head was lifted back up by the guard grabbing his hair. He whimpered at the pain. It was even worse to see the boy and a few others die. They were all druids. They were all his people. They were the people that saw him as their saviour. He couldn't save them. He couldn't save himself. He couldn't do anything.

The gagged as the smell of burning flesh hit him. It took him everything not to throw up. Not that he knew what he was going to throw up. He couldn't remember the last time he ate something.

The Sarrum laughed next to him. "What do you think? Hey? Do you think your goddess would be satisfied?"

Merlin just gagged as he was hit with the smell again.

* * *

He was chained to one of the posts in the tent. It was one of the Sarrum's commanders and it was his job to be his servant and attend to his every need. After what the Sarrum had done earlier, Merlin tried his hardest to be the worst servant possible. It caused him a lot of pain but he felt like it needed to be done.

The thing was, the smell had got everywhere. It had sunk into his clothes. It had wafted around the camp and into the tents.

He wanted to take his clothes off and burn them. He wanted to jump into a river and scrub his skin till it was red raw. He wanted the smell to go away. It just showed him how much he had failed.

They had put their faith in him and he couldn't do it. He couldn't keep them safe. He couldn't give them what they wanted and deserved. Arthur may have made them free but they were only free in Camelot. No one else had followed him.

He tried not to cry but it couldn't be helped. He felt like a failure. He had tried to believe in his destiny still but the longer he remained with the Sarrum, the less likely that it was going to happen. Magic was never going to made legal under Arthur. Even if his magic wasn't found out like it was, would he have had to convince Arthur somehow that magic was good?

Merlin started to doubt himself and anyone who had told him about his destiny. It was better off if he didn't know. It was better off if he just did it without the pressure of knowing that he had to do it. He had tried too hard and it was never going to happen now.

He had wondered how everyone was in Camelot but he immediately stopped that train of thought. It would hurt too much to think about what they could be doing, what had happened since he had been away. His plan had always been to return to Camelot but he doubt that he would ever want to see those walls again.


	8. Monster

_I didn't mean to make everyone hate Arthur with this story. Sorry if I have done._

 _Thank you for all the reviews._

 _Here is the next chapter._

* * *

 **Monster**

 **I'm only a man with a candle to guide me,  
** **I'm taking a stand to escape what's inside me.  
** **A monster, a monster  
** _Monster by Imagine Dragons_

It spoke to him. It whispered things to him.

 _Kill the Sarrum._

 _It would be easy. Just kill him in his sleep._

 _Poison his wine._

 _Give up Emrys. You cannot escape this._

 _Give up. Arthur would never want to see you again._

Merlin screamed just to fill the well up with something else. It was the darkness talking. Or was it his mind. He didn't know any more. There was nothing stopping it being both.

He could feel the tears fall down his cheeks.

The darkness hadn't been kind to his mind. Nor had being alone for so long. He only had his thoughts and those were now filled with what ifs and bad dreams.

It wasn't the Sarrum that was going to kill him. It was going to be his own mind. He was just going to be a mumbling mess, begging for someone to kill him. All the power he had was useless. The great Emrys, stuck in the bottom of a well, going mad.

This isn't how Merlin imagined his story to end.

* * *

Maybe he had gone mad. Maybe it was just the fact that he was surrounded by people. Maybe he did just want to end it now. Whatever his reason, Merlin still really couldn't believe that the words fell out of his mouth.

"What?" The Sarrum shouted.

"I am Emrys. I am meant to help bring magic back."

He could feel the druids all whispered behind him. If they hadn't lost hope before, they certainly had now. Their saviour was there with them. How was he meant to do anything?

The Sarrum gave him a bewildered look before laughing. Everyone around him slowly joined in his laughter. Even Merlin laughed nervously for a little bit. Once the Sarrum got himself back together, he nodded at two guards.

They came over and one of them held Merlin's arm behind his back while the other one flew a few punches at him. Merlin tried to struggle out of his grip and move out of the way of the punches but the guard behind him just tighten his grip on him.

"That's enough." The Sarrum said.

Merlin just dropped to the floor as the guard let him go. He had been out of the well for a few days now and he had been passed from guard to guard, each lord having their fun and way with him.

It wasn't just his mind that had just been affected by the well. The lack of food and movement had caused his muscles to fade away. Most everyday tasks were more difficult and it was frustrating. He was a manservant for many years. He should be able to do these jobs in his sleep.

He would have loved to stay lying where he was. He didn't care. Whether he was exposed to the elements or not, it would have made a change. He took every moment he could to feel the wind against his skin and the grass underneath his finger tips. It was such a luxury for him now.

The guards lifted him and dragged him, his legs not leaving the floor. He was placed into a kneeling position and held up by the tunic they had found for him. He wouldn't be able to keep it. It was just for now.

The Sarrum smiled down at him. "Magic will never return. You hear me. Never ever. Magic needs to be purged from the land."

"You'll make more enemies than friends with that statement. Believe me. You haven't seen the sort of people that have tried to kill Arthur. I am sure you are on Morgana's hit list." Merlin said, breathless. It hurt him to say their names. Oh how he had failed.

"I don't care what enemies I make. If there was a saviour for magic and it was you, you are in my grasp. Hey. You are mine to do what I like with. I don't care who's hit list I am on. I am on many. I think I am in a much better position than you to be making smart comments, aren't I?"

He swayed forward. The guards kept him from hitting the floor. Scrapping his earlier thought, Merlin found everything difficult. Sometimes even just breathing was difficult.

"Take him back to my tent."

He forced himself up. That was not good.

* * *

He whimpered as the straps were pulled tight, pushing him further into the table. If Merlin hadn't felt vulnerable before, he felt it now. He cursed himself and his mouth for ever saying anything. It had become natural to him to think of some comeback. It was having to deal with Arthur for so many years.

The guard patted his hair as if he was a dog. It was the first time that he had been touched gently since he was handed over to the Sarrum. Even if the touch was meant to be derogative.

Merlin rested his forehead against the table. As instructed, the guards had taken him back to the Sarrum's tent before stripping of the tunic and strapping him the table, face down. He could feel the cool breeze hit his skin. It was a lot colder tonight that it had been. Merlin was so out of it that he had no idea what season it was.

He heard the tent flap and hoped that it was just the wind. He hoped that he would be forgotten about for a while. The sound of a clap proved otherwise.

"Look at you. My guards have made a mess of your back haven't they?"

Merlin felt his fingertip glide over scars and healing wounds. He tried to keep his breathing even but he just couldn't. He gasped every time he traced a newer injury.

The Sarrum tutted. "Some of these look bad."

Merlin knew that because of the fever he was fighting. It seemed like he was constantly fighting one now. He shivered as he felt the cold blade against his back.

The Sarrum dragged the blade of his dagger along his back and Merlin tried to stay as still as he possible could. He could feel the wounds reopen and release blood and pus. The smell was awful but it made him feel a little better.

Merlin screamed out as the blade turned and cut into his skin. He should have known it was going to turn. Why would he be nice to him?


	9. Fix you

_I really don't know how many of you are going to be glad for this chapter. This is the penultimate chapter and its a long one._

 _Thank you for all the reviews._

* * *

 **Fix you**

 **Lights will guide you home  
** **And ignite your bones  
** **And I will try to fix you  
** _Fix You by Coldplay_

Merlin relished in the feeling of the sun on his skin and the grass underneath him.

The guards had finished having their fun and had just left him where they had started to beat him. They all knew that he wasn't strong enough to run. Merlin knew that he was in too much pain to even think about sitting up.

He couldn't take much more. He had started to beg them. He asked them to send him on. He asked them to do what they wanted to a sorcerer, to kill him. He wanted to join them in Avalon. He wanted to be with Will and Freya and his father.

He opened his eyes. Sometimes he forgot that he had magic. Most of the time he forgot that he could control the most powerful creature to live. The dragons.

He had been so stupid. He could have escaped this life much sooner.

"αρέσκω έσωσα με. σας δεσπότης ο ονομάζεται αντί κίνδυνος. αρέσκω έρχομαι γρήγορος.*"

Merlin let out a long sigh afterwards. He forgot what the dragonlord power felt like. He didn't use it that often and he felt like kicking himself for not using it. It was a part of him like his magic. It was a gift given to him and he didn't use it like he should do.

"What gibberish did you just say?" The guard tutted. "You know you cannot use your magic. I wouldn't even try." He clapped his hands. "Now lets put you to some use. Hey?"

He internally groaned.

* * *

Aithusa hadn't meant to help Morgana. Killgharrah had told her off for it. Apparently she was the bad guy but she didn't realise that. She saw someone with magic and wanted to save her. It was just one massive coincidence really.

She saw the little bit of light in Morgana's soul and thought that she was worth saving. Aithusa hadn't been back to Killgharrah since. He was very angry. So she went back to find the woman that she had helped. She was very welcoming and Aithusa was sure that he was wrong about her.

They were currently in the woods. Aithusa was trying to hunt down rabbits while Morgana was collecting herbs.

Her masters voice cut clear through the forest and Aithusa lifted her head at the command. She became very worried about him. Not just the message he had sent but the way it came across. He was in pain and on the edge of giving up.

The white dragon ran over to her new companion and pulled on her dress, making sure not to rip it.

"What's up?" Morgana said, trying to stop her from pulling. "Is something up?"

It was the time that Aithusa wished that she had spend more time with Killgharrah. She was still only young and had a lot to learn. None of which a human could teach her, magical or non. She couldn't speak to humans, with her voice or telepathically. It was frustrating for her at times. This being the prime example.

Aithusa turned around and head towards the direction her master's voice. She turned back around to make sure that Morgana was following.

Morgana was hesitant at first but when the young dragon look worried, she knew she had to. She had no idea where they could be heading or how long it would take to get there or why they had to go where they were.

It was going to be an adventure for them. Maybe one that Morgana would regret when she realised who sent the message.

* * *

Merlin closed his eyes. He was exhausted. He just wanted the darkness to over take him. He just wanted it to all end.

He was back in the well and he was grateful for it. It meant his body had a little time to recover. His mind on the other hand, was gone. He had lost it a long time ago.

Maybe he always knew. Maybe there was always the seed of doubt. But Merlin knew that he wasn't going to escape the Sarrum alive.

He was never going to leave his grasp. He was never going to see the white walls of Camelot. He was never going to have Gwaine annoy him again. He was never going to hear Gwen's laugh again. He was never going to see Arthur's smile again. He was never going to see the king that Arthur was going to be.

He would have cried. He would have loved to have cried. But he had nothing left. Everything he had worked towards had crumbled. The land he had imagined was never going to happen.

He put his trust in the dragon. He put his trust into someone that didn't and would never understand him. That is what hurt the most. Arthur was never going to accept magic. Magic was never going to return. Yes he may have set the druids free but it didn't mean that they were safe. Magic was still illegal.

Merlin wished he had told Morgana. She would have understood. She would have talked Arthur into the changes that needed to be made. They would have been a great team.

And it was all his fault.

* * *

Morgana had to jump onto Aithusa to stop her from wondering into the camp. She told the dragon to lay low as they got closer to see who's camp it was. For the amount of people, it had to belong to some warlord so some description.

Her eyes widened as she saw the Sarrum for the first time. She had heard stories about him and knew of his harsh ways against magic. He had always been someone that she would like to meet just to put him in his place, more than likely by killing him.

Yet she couldn't understand why the dragon would have brought her there. It made no sense. She had to have a look around but knew how dangerous that would be. The young dragon stayed low but Morgana could sense that she still want her to follow.

"Stay low and in the trees."

They managed to stay undetected and Aithusa brought her to the entrance of a well, which was guarded. Morgana wondered why. The dragon kept pointing her head towards the well. Obviously there was someone in there, that called her, that wanted their help.

Morgana gestured for the dragon to follow her. This sort of thing needed a plan.

* * *

Aithusa may have been young but there were a few things that she could do. One of them was that she could fly about and cause a bit of a commotion. Morgana wasn't happy with that. She was a dragon after all. She didn't know if there was any more around. If she was the last and in the Sarrum's grip, then the world would easily lose another wonder.

She just needed a distraction. She needed something that would pull the majority of the guards away from the well. If there was only one or two guards there, she wouldn't have hesitated when the dragon had led her there. But ten was a bit of an ask.

As soon as they ran off, she sprung into action. The two guards that were left died before they had even turned around.

It was night now, so when Morgana pulled the top off the well, she could not see the bottom. If she did, she may not have tied the rope to the tree and dropped down into it.

* * *

Merlin registered the well opening but paid no attention to it. They could do what they liked. He wanted them to kill him. He wanted to die. He wanted them to give him that.

He was surprised when the voice that spoke to him was a woman and one that he recognised but couldn't place.

"Don't worry. You are safe now."

His head was bowed forward so she couldn't see his face. He wondered if she did know him, would she recognise him.

He was sure that he had changed over his stay with the Sarrum.

She undid all the chains that were on him and he gasped as his magic flowed around his body again. He had never realised how much power he possessed.

"I am going to get you out of here. Okay."

He had placed the voice now. It was Morgana.

* * *

She had struggled but she had managed to get the man out of the well. He was slumped against it, having no strength. She could hear the shouts, which signalled that Aithusa was still darting about.

"How far do you think you can walk?"

The man grunted. He had lifted his head since being in her presence and she started to suspect something wasn't quite right. There was something familiar about him.

Aithusa flew over and Morgana pushed away the thought. They had planned a place to met before Morgana was going to use a spell to transport them back to her hovel. She picked the man up and flung his arm over her shoulder. She practically dragged him to the spot, only just escaping the guards.

She held onto him and the dragon as she muttered the spell.

* * *

He had passed out somewhere along the journey and Morgana found it quite easy to drag him to the bed. She gasped and stepped back as she took in the face of the man she had saved.

It was Merlin.

She had heard the rumours that he had been found using magic but the endings were always different. They all agreed one thing though, he was no longer in Camelot.

She wanted to picked him up and dump him somewhere in the forest. He had magic. He had kept her in the dark when she needed someone the most. He could have … should have told her.

Morgana turned around and looked at the dragon. She sheepishly walked over to Merlin and clambered onto the bed and rested her head on his stomach. The look she got was one that he wasn't leaving any time soon.

It left her in conflict. Should she help her enemy or not?

* * *

*Please save me. Your master is in danger. Please come quick.


	10. Never One To Complain

_Here we are. On the last chapter._

 _To catherine10, I am sorry for my really bad translation. I will try harder next time._

 _See you at the end._

* * *

 **Never One To Complain**

 **What once lost can now be found  
** **You were the lost but now you found  
** **What once lost can now be found  
** _Never One To Complain by Night Terrors of 1927_

Merlin walked up to her. Aithusa was clinging on to his back like she was some backpack. The dragon flapped her wings as they got closer. He stopped in front of her and sighed before he started to talk.

"I had … I had always hoped that if I escaped the Sarrum, I would go back to Camelot and regain Arthur's trust and complete my destiny. I hoped that I could still help Albion come about. I so still believe in him and it hurts to think that way. Camelot became my home like it did yours and I think you understand what I mean. But I cannot go back there. I know that I will never regain Arthur's trust and that's only if I get through the gates in the first place.

"So I am here to tell you that I am leaving. I am leaving Camelot and my destiny behind. I should have seen that it was never going to come about to begin with. I cannot go back to the castle. I knew that it was never going to be easy and that my destiny was a big one, but I never expected it to be so difficult." He paused. "There were more than one reasons why it has been difficult. I have lost friends and family along the way. I have made enemies out of friends. I betrayed … someone … who turned out to be the only one to understand everything I have been through. The loneliness of magic.

"So let's not be lonely any more. We can go together, somewhere far away. So far away that Camelot will become a distant memory. We can find somewhere that … where magic is accepted and we can be ourselves. Somewhere out of the five kingdoms. We can head north and not stop until we reach the end of the land. Do you think you can leave your plans for revenge and the throne and come with me?"

Morgana smiled up at him. This was the side of him that she had missed. This is the side of him that she had always thought that she would see. She never really expected another side of him.

"It's a nice dream." She said.

"It doesn't have to be a dream."

"Do you know of a place then?"

"No but I am sure that if we cannot find a place then we will make one of our own. We won't turn anyone away. We will accept anyone, magical and non, who just wants a place to be themselves. I don't want to hide any longer. The Sarrum showed me how horrible it was to have my magic locked inside me. It is naive of me to still want to complete my destiny. I just have to do it another way than through Arthur."

"Then tell me about this place."

"Haven't I already?"

"Maybe I don't understand where I come into this all. We could complete your destiny in Camelot. We could easily take over Camelot. We could show Arthur how powerful magic is."

"But that isn't how I want to do it. Look, I know it is a big ask but … I don't think I could find the right place or make the right place without you."

Merlin looked down at his feet and cleared his throat. Morgana allowed herself to smile at his awkwardness.

"I want to do this how we should have done everything else in the first place." He looked up and held out his hand. "Together."

She did look at his hand for a bit before she took it. The moment he had told her that he was leaving, she had made up her mind that she was leaving with him. Their friendship may still be a little fresh but she was sure that they would fall back into what they were like before he poisoned her and Morgause took her away.

"So tell me more. What are you looking for exactly?" She said as she held onto his arm and they started their journey away from Camelot.

* * *

 _I have this really big feeling that most of you expected more from this story than I have given you. So I have been thinking over the last few days and I think I could come up with a sequel, but that is only if people want it._

 _So there is a poll open on my profile and I would love it if you could answer it and if you guys want one, then it will probably be out in the next few days._

* * *

 _Update: Someone pointed out a spelling mistake, to which I apologise for. Not to sound like a whinny little so and so but I was exhausted yesterday when I first published this. I was struggling to stay awake after getting up at 4:40am for the third day in the row and not being able to go to bed until 10pm._


	11. Prisoner Sequels

_Hey guys_

 _I don't usually do this but I would hate for people to miss out on the news._

 _Due to an overwhelming demand for a sequel, I have just uploaded a one shot (called I'm On My Way) and have another story idea in the running. I hope that it is what you are all hoping for._

 _I hope the other story will be up on Sunday. So I will leave you now so I can get on and write it. Keep your eyes peeled for that. It will be called I'm Emrys, Not Merlin._

 _I will put the story summaries below._

 _Hope you are all okay._

* * *

 **I'm On My Way – (One Shot)**

Merlin has escaped the Sarrum and is just starting his recovery. With Morgana and Aithusa by his side, can he find a place where they can be free or is it just another wonderful dream? Sequel to Prisoner

 **I'm Emrys, Not Merlin – (Planned 5 Chapters)**

Life in Ireadal has been good to them but when a familiar face comes calling, Merlin has to deal with his daemons again. The worst one being his name. Why can't they just call him Emrys? Sequel to Prisoner and I'm On My Way


End file.
